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Gudran / Jan 09, 2014
Hello everyone!

It has last been februari 2013 since I updated, which makes this a very special post. Times have changed, a lot. Since all the sensible people have come to the conclusion that dailies are not content, we have moved to greener pastures.

Though I do not miss WoW, I did like writing huge-ass stories about basically nothing, making fun of everyone as I did. With the ESO Stresstest coming up, and our NoobCraft tournament in the pipeline - I thought it'd be nice to repurpose the site.

I've put up both events on the calendar with the details. Over the next few days, I'll clean up the site to make it useable for whatever purpose it might have to serve in 2014.


Gudran / Feb 09, 2013
Hello everyone!

Quick update on our status, for we've been moving fast since I last updated. Yes, we've finally cleared the Heart of Fear! A near-perfect attempt on the Empress got us the kill. And with the kill, came access to ToES. So we went right ahead and slapped some shit in there as well.

[Loving this killshot by the way]

We're lucky to have the internet, because with Blizzard re-defining the definition of EASY every single raid, we'd be swimming in dictionaries by now trying to keep up. The first boss went down on the second pull, not living up to even the lightest of expectations.

The second boss did prove a slightly more challenging, but wasn't even close to reaching decent levels of difficulty for progression content. Killed. Since this guy didn't even bother to choose a different spot to spawn than the first boss, we didn't bother to take another killshot. So deal with it.

Well done everyone, awaiting a 'ToES Cleared' soon!
Gudran / Feb 02, 2013
Hello everyone!

In a galaxy, many, many pixels away, there used to be newspost on the front page of the Renown Times. It is foretold in legends and myths alike; the tale of one handsome Dwarf writing the most magnificent stories. At the center of these tales, only one group resided. A group, old at the core, taking in young blood along the way. A group, going strong after many a year of hard battle and bloodshed. Renown.

Once more, Dwarf McHandsome (often referred to as "Gudran", or "Gud" for short, for his many good deeds, and his kind heart), will write of the heroism displayed in past battles, for it has been a long time.

A note before I begin; I’ve been fiddling with my pc over the past days, but forgot to back-up any of the killshots I made. So, that leaves me with very little photographic evidence of our destruction. However, I promise you all that I will tell nothing but the truth. Although highly unlikely for such a bunch of misfits, we actually did get something done since the last time I’ve reported on the site.

After Elegon, we were basically done with MsV. The hardest boss was down, just one more shitcake to gobble up, much like a landwhale would consume the very last piece of pie on a birthday. No mercy. While we did not kill the Will of the Emperor as quickly as we wanted (DPS had trouble not sucking donkey-dick on the Devastating Combo), we did get him over with relatively quickly. Mogu’Shan Vault cleared. The pathway to the Heart of Fear had now opened.

Now, before I begin on HoF, I’d like to point out to you some fact. Scientists have recently been able to declare the act of taking breath to be harder than the first boss in this instance. Actually, Imperial Vizier Zor’lok is so easy, babies are born KNOWING this fight, even before they learn to cry. Zor’lok is often referred to as the Paris Hilton of the World of Warcraft. Dying on Zor’lok is objectively the hardest thing to do; putting a man on the moon is nothing compared to it.

You get the picture.

Naturally, we continued to wipe on the above mentioned motherfucker for too long a time. Because we wouldn’t be Renown, if we didn’t wipe on the most stupid shit. I’d say “We even wipe on trash”, but trash is quite a lot harder than Zor’lok, so that’d only make us look better. We did get him down though. Yes we did. Tears of joy were shed. It was like Tribute to Insanity all over again.

The Blade Lord made for an interesting boss. The trash gave us a heads-up of what was to come, by requiring the raid to stack on the marked member. Naturally, nobody knew what the shit was going on, so we thanked the gods for mass-resurrection. Once more. Remember, I’m still talking trash here.

Being prepared so well, we managed the actual boss pretty well. With some fine-tuned tactics, cooldown management, and using the streams to effectively cross over, we managed to get a kill in relatively quickly. Got coordination? Check!

Third boss. Garalon the blob-boi. Very interesting fight, very interesting mechanics. It’s a fight you get more proficient at the more you do it. It took us a while to get a decent kiting-rotation going, and after that, we easily came up short on the dps. The hard-enrage is a bitch. However, after trying long and hard, we did manage to cut off more than just his legs. Right before the enrage time, he fell.

With words piling up, and space running short, I’m going to run through the next two. Wind Lord Mel’jarak was surprisingly easy. I mean, unless you’ve got gnomes in your raid. Gnome mages. Specifically, Gnome mages called Loozi. Our dear raid leader managed to blow us up on the most crucial of moments with some well-placed windbombs. We did put it to a vote, but decided we’d still continue to love him. Eventually, shit went down, of course.

For our last kill, we’ll look over to Amber-Shaper Un’sok. A formidable opponent to say the least. Very interesting mechanics, though in essence, not hard at all. It took quite some getting used to tactic-wise, and we had to change things around a few times. In the end, our former-tree-now-ninja Bolo, got the combination right, and we managed to get our first kill with a near-perfect try. Another one bit the dust.

Thus, we have arrived at the end. We’ve made excellent progress over the past weeks, and I am proud of all of you. We’ve had our share of roster problems, but we’re on it. With recruitment efforts ramping up, we should be back on our usual feet in no-time.

Let’s go get the Empress.

Gudran / Dec 02, 2012
Hello everyone!

It's been a while, but here I am again, writing a newspost for the bestest and loveliest guild in the world. Under the hood, not a whole lot has changed. Robolock has decided to join our ranks in the battle agains all things evil and loot-dropping. Because everyone knows we'd be having tea-parties with Elegon had he not been a source of delicious purplez. Welcome!

We've been at him (Elegon, not Robolock!) for a while now, going from utter shite, to somewhat decent, to being able to kill that shit using only our man-parts to control the keyboard. You can read all about it in our still rather unknown blog; Bertman has had a surge of creativeness once more, and decided to whip up the next installment of Bertman vs the Raid!

You can read it HERE

Also, don't forget to check out the other posts on the blog, should you have absolutely fuck-all to do with your life. So, drop you dailies, drop your LFR queues and hurry your arses over to the blog for an exclusive peak into the mind of our resident [Anal]-jokes enthusiast and fellow tank Bert.

But, that is not all! Our used-to-be-a-sexy-spacegoat Paladin, Skyknight, has taken the time to capture yet another kill-attempt on film! Featuring our 'IM COMPLETELY CALM YOU GUYS' Shao, 'HOW DO I CLOSE MY MOUTH' Luci, and last but not least, 'THE PILLAR IS NOT UP' X-man.

I would pay to see this shit in theaters.

Check it out HERE

For your convenience, I have also embedded it below.

In closing, I'd like to say that I love all you guys, and am proud of our progression. It shows we won't back down when things get tough, and despite our frustrations, can work out a solution to even the harderst of problems.

Well done!

With that, I bid you farewell, and until next time!

Bertman / Nov 18, 2012
So people wanted more content.

A reason to visit this site.

A way to feel connected to the community outside of the game world.

An inside view in the heads of us officers.

A way to enjoy the game even more.

So, Gudran and me proudly present: Bertman vs the raid.

It grew from a series of posts in officer chat about our raids. Posts that grew in size and became more blog-ish with every iteration. Finally, after a lot of brainstorming and re-writing large parts of our terribly written and horribly punctuated ramblings we feel confident that releasing our blargh to the public won't cause a shitstorm the size we haven't seen since the great WotLK-purge.

For those that don't know the story or the magnificent shitstorm our guild lived through in WotLK, ask Gudran, he will gladly tell you the tale!

Or perhaps make a blog post out of it :)

We'd also like it if you guys wanted to say something on our little blog. Got some WoW-related things to tell? This could be about the guild, about something awesome that happened to you in game or just a bit of bitching about loot that doesn't drop. Don't hesitate and ask us for a shot at internet-fame.

We hope you have as much fun reading it as Gud and me have while trying to provide content in our own interpretation of the English language.
Bertman / Nov 16, 2012
Because no-one believed a bunch of misfits like us could actually kill bosses AND trash in Mogu'shan Vaults, our resident holydin Skyknight got fancy and recorded several of our boss kills in the last couple of weeks.

Be careful what you say and/or do in our raids from now on so you don't end up face down on one of our kills as everything may very well be taped and documented for posterity's sake.

I know the feeling because I'm hugging the floor like a nab in one of those vids.

For those interested in more movies of us fucking up kill attempts killing bosses, see this thread.
Gudran / Nov 06, 2012
Hello everyone!

Quick update on some things. First of all, the guild rules have been updated, and will from now on be enforced more strictly. This is mainly regarding EPGP. They are always subject to change, and we will notify you of any changes we make.

Don't be alarmed, realistically, there won't be a lot of change for you guys, it's mainly for us officers, and some clarifications here and there.

Also, remember that we've re-opened recruitment.

Check THIS thread for more information.

As always, comments / suggestions / complaints can be addressed to me, and are always welcomed.

Thank you!